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ScryWare Banner Ad

Do you need to produce a plausible business plan or marketing presentation >>>fast... and on a low budget?

ScryWare was designed exactly for people like you.

SSD Market Analysts on StorageSearch.com
It had been a very long wait!
Spellerbyte had predicted today's buzzing
SSD market way back in the 1750s before
most homes had PCs (or even electricity).
ScryWare - features and benefits...........................
  • Plug and play - the knowledge wizard will ask what you're trying to do, and how long you've got to do it. You can then go and have a cup of tea while the software does the rest.
  • ScryWare's hardware and software interface is compatible with all leading brands of crystal ball (past and future).
  • Downloads data directly into your Excel spreadsheet, or Powerpoint presentation.
  • Can reverse analyse future markets, and the inbuilt Business Plan wizard will create a plausible audio visual Powerpoint presentation using your company logo.
  • Soundbite generator produces a one sheet list of clever sounding soundbites, which you can add into your conversation or email before or after the presentation, to demonstrate that you have absorbed all the key facts, or to add into your press release. (PR generator module is available as an optional upgrade.)
  • Compatible with all versions of Microsoft Windows and Tunnels.
Spellabyte's cauldron Dear Web Reader

My name is Spellabyte the wizard. I spend all my time cooking up ideas for new companies, and writing business plans. I actually planned my Prickly Spine Software Company (see below) about 100 years ago. That was before computers or software were even invented. That gave me plenty of time to get on with enjoying my life, and still be one of the market leaders, when the market conditions were right.

You're probably reading this ad because you need to write a plausible business plan or marketing presentation fast. Probably this morning.

ScryWare was developed for people in a hurry, just like you.
................................................................................
As you know there are plenty of good market research companies and analysts in every market. The problem is, they charge a lot for information, and even when you get it, it can take a long time to understand what they're saying, and assimilate the data and trends into a plausible looking business plan. The other problem is:- timing. If you've got to get that business plan ready for tomorrow's meeting, you know that even if money is no object, there's not enough time to download those really big pdf files which takes hours to print out, read them, and pick out the good bits to quote as bullet points in your Powerpoint presentation.
  • You need the bullet points.
  • You need the charts.
  • You need the marketing and financial analysis.
  • You need the audio visual bits to make it look like you spent a long time researching everything.
  • And you need it all now!
Spellabyte's software factory Case Study:- the Prickly Spine Software Company

Spellabyte was setting up a software company to compete with the mighty giants - Microsoft and Sun Microsystems. Unlike those corporations, he didn't use MBA's to write his marketing plan. He used ScryWare. And the ScryWare plan said he could maximise his profits by not hiring any human programmers.

Instead he employed retired hedgehogs to write ALL the software. These old hedgehogs had very stiff prickly spines and rolled around in paper tape, which was read by an old paper tape reader, buffered to disk, and then burned onto CD-ROM. The resulting software had a lot of interesting features, but was a bit buggy. However, the labels would clearly indicate that this was only version 1.0 and that customers who actually wanted to USE the software could download the latest version from the web. By then, he hoped, he would make enough money to recruit some retired spiders...
Proven in Practise:- I used ScryWare to set up a whole bunch of software businesses, and so have my relations. Megabyte the Mouse became the editor of a leading computer storage portal, which is not bad for a young mouse. The pirates who kidnapped Alexander in the second story on goblinsearch needed a better business plan. After being frozen in ice for hundreds of years they discovered that their jolly little pirate ship just couldn't stand up to modern nuclear submarines and destroyers. You'll have to read that online novel to see how I helped them. If you're a modern 21st century human being, you could probably do much better.

How to Order:- you can't buy ScryWare in the shops, in catalogs or via the web. The way to order it is:- to print out a copy of this ad, wrap your credit card in it, and rub your crystal ball with it three times.

Delivery:- In the UK, and USA (except Alaska) we usually deliver it within 2 minutes. But you have to shut your eyes, because my delivery wizards are shy and don't like to be seen by humans.

Price:- USA, UK, Asia, Europe, Worldwide:- $250. The US dollar amount will be debited from your credit card at tomorrow's prevailing exchange rate.

Compatibility:- don't worry. If your crystal ball, or PC aren't compatible, then the ordering wizard will stop before your credit card is debited.

System requirements:- crystal ball (all leading models), PC (running Chrome OS or Microsoft Windows 95, 98, XP, HP, NT, DOA / Vista, 7, 8, 9... any version upto 3000), Excel, Powerpoint.

Guarantee:- we guarantee that your presentation will be a lot better than if you wrote it yourself, and you'll never want to write another marketing plan without using ScryWare ever again.

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This is a work of fiction. All characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to actual goblins living or dead is purely coincidental or due to ensorclement beyond our control